Passion!

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines the word “passion” in several ways. One of those definitions is considered obsolete these days: suffering. But I think it is very valuable to use that definition as it applies to life pursuits.

In this culture we would probably consider suffering a bad thing on a first glimpse. And the ways we try to avoid pain is legion. Just consider the popularity of drugs, alcohol and entertainment as methods to escape from boredom, loneliness and reality.

But our willingness to suffer for something we love or care deeply about is a worthy pursuit.

Don’t misunderstand me. I feel fear, or at least uncomfortable when it comes to the thought of suffering - especially when the pain is needless or pointless. But if I am passionate about the goal I am pursuing it changes my perspective.

• I am passionate about my marriage, but it has been painful at times.

• I am passionate about my career, and it has been very difficult as well. 

• I am passionate about my faith, and I have struggled with doubt and fear and guilt.  

• I am passionate about emotional wellness and my inner journey, but depression and anxiety has followed me along the road at times. 

         “Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of faith but they are afflictions, not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the passion of Christ.”  C. S. Lewis 

• I am passionate about the condition of our country, but I have suffered painfully with its decline. 

• I am passionate about music, but having self-discipline to practice on my instrument has not always been an easy pursuit.

Whatever you are not willing to suffer for, you are not ready for – relationships, especially.

What are you willing to suffer for? What means so much to you that you will push past the pain? What goal is so significant that you are willing to volunteer your precious time or money to achieve it? 

Psalm 105:4 (NLT)

Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him.

Finding Your Place

One of the things I really appreciate about where we live is the relative quiet. Though we are part of one of the largest counties in the world (Los Angeles), our little corner is unusually quiet most of the time. Our house is more than 80 years old and doesn’t have double pane windows, but even so, except for the occasional helicopter overhead or an infrequent chorus of barking dogs, it’s pretty peaceful.

But even more important in some ways is the peacefulness inside our home. There is no television blaring, no telephones screaming at us and about the only thing I hear is the refrigerator cycling every once in a while and the occasional chuckle from Nan as she reads something on her laptop.

I realize this doesn’t describe many homes where kids and pets and interruptions and urban noise is the norm. But perhaps there are things you can do to generate more of an environment that is conducive to contemplative pursuits. Can you create a private space within your home? Sometimes it is as easy as installing a lock on your bedroom door and making it “off-limits” except in an emergency.

For others it might be a second bathroom with a tub and candles.

In our house we are fortunate to have a daylight basement which we now use as a theater & music room. For years it had been my music studio and sanctuary when others were living in the house with us. Even now it feels more “away” than other parts of the house. Do you have an unused or underused space in your home that can be converted to your own private haven, even temporarily?

Can you find an isolated corner of your yard or a small alcove in your apartment complex where you can drag a chair and block out noise with soothing music on an MP3 player? Is there a small park nearby? Can you lock yourself in your car in the garage? How about getting to work a few minutes before everyone else arrives?

Whenever we stay in a hotel with a pool, the “pool hours” are always posted. How about the same thing for the television in your home? Nobody will die. Promise.

I do my best thinking in the shower. I am convinced that if I could keep an endless supply of hot water coming from the showerhead I could easily solve the world’s problems. How about you? Do you have a similar place of refuge where ideas and creativity flow? My problem with the shower scenario is that I can’t write things down (I haven’t found a waterproof journal yet).

Jesus would often get away alone to a quiet place. He needed it and so do we. In this city environment we just have to be a bit more creative in finding it.     

Comfort and Joy

By now almost everyone is aware of what is called the “holiday blues” – waves of sadness that overtake people who have: experienced losses in their lives on or around the holidays; or who have become acutely aware of the people, finances, or relationships that have disappeared or never existed.

Our tendency when we encounter these people can be to do one or two things that are not helpful.

The first is to try to fix them or cheer them up. We offer suggestions on how to get rid of the feelings. Or we try to distract them, as if they were children that need to be redirected. Or we offer lame platitudes that only make them feel worse.

The second is to distance ourselves from them as if they carried a contagious disease. And in some ways they do. It is hard to be around people who are sad without us also being infected or affected.  It can be especially difficult during a season that is naturally joyful for us, or where we are having a hard time accessing the spirit for ourselves.

We, as a culture, don’t seem to deal well with grief in ourselves or others. There is a tendency towards denial of our limitations, whether dealing with our or others lifespan, our accomplishments, our capabilities or other forms of personal power. But we are limited, and when we come up against one of these barriers, there is loss involved, and where there is loss there is sadness. We feel our powerlessness and lack of control and we grieve.

So what do we do when we find ourselves with friends and family experiencing the holiday blues?

We come alongside. We just sit with them and listen to them. We offer the warmth of our presence, our smiles and our touch. We offer them a safe haven and let them grieve.

What if we are the one going through the sadness?

We need to not isolate from people. We need to seek community and get involved. We need to let people comfort us when they are willing. And we need to look outward and try to focus on others. Nothing seems to lift our spirit like serving others in some capacity.

One way to change negative associations with the holidays is to build new, positive memories. We can initiate new rituals (like participating in volunteer efforts) and respond affirmatively to invitations to gather.

So where is the joy?

We can turn to God in prayer. We serve a God who understands our pain. Jesus experienced great loss and pain during his time in the world. He knew He could not leave us alone in our suffering and so He sent His Holy Spirit to dwell with us and comfort us. He promised that He would turn our mourning into dancing.   

2 Corinthians 1:    ³ All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. ⁴ He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.