Showing posts with label morality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label morality. Show all posts

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Marriage, Millenials and Miscellaneous



Some thoughts gained in part from a talk by Gabe Lyons

The society that we were born into in the 1950’s was very different from the one that we are now living in. Being connected to a faith community was not only accepted, but expected most of the time. As kids we would ask each other “What are you, Christian (protestant), Catholic or Jewish?” Two parents were the norm and getting married when you grew up was a given. Job applicants might be asked about their church affiliation -- and a pastor, priest or rabbi was often a reference. Marriage and faith were seen as indicators of good moral character and stability. (Statistics bear out that both add to a longer and more affluent life.)

This is not the world that Millenials (roughly 1983-2000) have been born into.

I won’t go into an explanation of the characteristics attributed to this generation, other than this group is rising in power and influence, but does not rest on the same foundational principles that I inherited. The current culture is described as postmodern, pluralistic and post-Christian. In a nutshell that means nothing is absolute, truth is open for interpretation, all religious paths are equally valid and Christianity is no longer the dominant force in religious thought.

What this results in is a lot of confusion and uncertainty. What can be trusted? Who can I believe? Does life have any ultimate meaning? Does it matter that I exist? Is this life all that there is? Anxiety and depression increase as these questions float around without any way to answer them.

It has been suggested that Christians have moved from the Moral Majority to the Prophetic Minority.

This means that a smaller group of people are carrying the messages that have the power to transform our culture. The good news in this is that a small group of intensely committed people have always been able to accomplish great things.

I see this as a mandate to support and encourage those of current and future generations as they cling to the values of marriage and religious freedom. It will become progressively more difficult to oppose the deconstruction of these institutions and maintain a Christian worldview. Some will likely go to jail in the struggle.

Yet people still yearn to be known deeply in a way that only marriage can satisfy. And when death and destruction and trouble comes, people look heavenward and hope that a merciful and powerful God exists and hears their prayers.

This is why I fight hard against divorce and the destruction of families. Families are often the best conveyors of values and positive traditions. Kids feel more secure even in a troubled or conflictual family than they do in a broken one. Just sit in a counseling room for an extended period of time and you will realize this.

It is important that we speak up and not be afraid of communicating our beliefs and not allow ourselves to be bullied into silence. How many times in the Bible are we commanded to “Fear not”? It is difficult to tell someone what they need to hear rather than what is popular. But don’t miss those opportunities. You may be the only one willing to speak the truth and be Jesus to them.


I know this post is a bit different than usual, but I just had to get it out while it was rolling around my brain. Love compels me to be a watchman on the wall at times. I would love to get some feedback from you. Use the comment box below and say yay or nay.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

Mind Clutter


I came across this passage in “Here and Now” by Henri Nouwen (yes, I am temporarily addicted to Nouwen).

“Whether we ask for it or not… we simply cannot go far without being engulfed by words and images forcibly intruding themselves into our minds. But do we really want our mind to become the garbage can of the world? Do we want our mind to be filled with things that confuse us, excite us, depress us, arouse us, repulse us or attract us whether we think it is good for us or not?

That leaves me considering what power I have over those things. Certainly I cannot avoid the world. But I do have a certain amount of control over my world. All my electronic devices have off as well as on buttons. (Some of you are saying to yourself “I never knew that.”)

I have noticed that the unrestrained input of news on a daily basis tends to make me depressed and cynical. It is also quite addictive. I often find myself punching buttons on the car radio out of habit, even when it is turned off! When I reach this stage I know that it is time for a fast from news media and talk radio, etc.

How about the other media in our lives: movies, television, books, music, etc? Do we choose wisely or do we feed ourselves things that are of questionable worth – or that compromises our values? Do we hide some of those things from a spouse or friends? Do we have the willpower to discontinue reading or viewing something when we find it objectionable? Have you ever walked out on a movie for that reason?

Do you intentionally feed your mind good things? I try to always have at least a couple of really good books nearby. I don’t want to make it hard on myself to make positive choices. I am always tempted to snack on junk food for the mind.

Do you have a belief that everything is worth knowing? Or are you afraid off missing out on something important? Does this lead you to collect massive amounts of mind clutter? Once something is stored, it may become difficult or even impossible to discard. Think of violent or pornographic images both visual and written.

Perhaps we need to hit a reset button on some of our acquired habits and rethink what we want to allow into our head and heart.

Philippians 4:8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Cognitive Dissonance - I'm Fighting Inside


Years ago I remember a struggle taking place within me – a battle for my heart, mind and soul. In a nutshell, it was the pull between two worldviews. Which would win: the secular or the sacred? If I followed my feelings, I would go with the secular. However, if I followed my values I would have to side with my Christian upbringing.

Psychologists call this condition “cognitive dissonance”.

It is where the mind is in pain because it cannot hold two opposite beliefs at the same time. One must triumph over the other before there is internal peace.

This situation often occurs in relationships when there is a high level of conflict. What I feel like doing never aligns with my values. Whether my nature is to want to fight or run, staying and remaining calm and suffering for the sake of the relationship is not my first inclination.

This same kind of struggle happens with unmarried couples trying to follow a path of purity. The pull towards sexual activity does not align with their Christian beliefs. So they either abandon their values, or they modify their behavior (if they are acting out their feelings). And that choice is a hard one because of the cultural normalization of sexual activity as well as the internal drive to connect.  

We can also deceive ourselves by rationalizing and modifying beliefs (“it’s not really all that wrong” or “God really didn’t mean that” or “I married the wrong person – this person over here is my real soul mate”). Ultimately, though, we return back to cognitive dissonance if we become honest with ourselves and break denial.      

What are we to do when we hit these impasses? 

We honor our integrity by grieving the loss of the way we wish things were, but align our behavior to fit a level of maturity that values character qualities over immediate gratification. 

By the way, I hate that part, too. We all do.

However, the benefits are far-reaching – often beyond what we can see at the moment. The result is that we bring stability to relationships, marriages, families and communities – and hopefully peace to ourselves.