We have said it before. We have written about it before. Real change is real hard.
I was reminded of this recently when I was reading through a book written by a therapist. She was presenting the Transtheoretical Model (TTM) of change (Prochaska and DiClemente). It is the idea that change happens in stages. This particular model has 5 primary stages, although I have heard of other models having up to 8 stages.
I think it is helpful to expect change to occur over a period of time, rather than all at once. I have a friend who was struggling with substance abuse who was able to make a radical pivot in his life and never look back. He stands out in my mind because this kind of change is rare. Yes, there are miracles – and we pray for them. But mostly we have to do the hard work to acquire the results we desire.
So what are the stages of the TTM model?
Stage 1: Precontemplation
This is the denial stage. There is little or no awareness that a change is needed. It will probably take some sort of trigger event to move someone into the next stage. It might be a severe medical warning from a doctor or a threat of divorce.
Stage 2: Contemplation
This is the phase where a person starts thinking of the pros and cons of making a change. The denial is broken, but the reality of the challenge becomes apparent. Will it be worth it? It is really necessary? Can I do it?
Stage 3: Preparation or Determination
In this stage a person will not just think about the change, but make the decision whether to move forward or abandon the change. They may take some action. For example they might inquire about a therapist, coach or program. Or they may gather materials needed for the change and start educating themselves. This is also the stage that lends itself most to procrastination.
Stage 4: Action
This is the stage where there is a behavioral change. The diet program is followed. Morning devotions are started. Their attitude becomes positive and encouraging instead of critical and angry.
Stage 5: Maintenance or Perseverance
For me, this is the hardest stage. It means breaking a pattern or habit. I seem to be able to make temporary changes pretty easily. It’s keeping it moving that is hardest for me and probably for most. I have always told clients that my definition of trust is consistency over time. Often couples in counseling can be nice to each other for a short time, but then fall back into their bad habits.
Every stage of the change process can benefit by being covered in prayer. But I am thinking that praying Psalm 139: 23-24 for stage 1 might be a great start.
Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.“
