Money and Work From Home. Is It Worth It?

 

At least a couple of decades ago I read a book about the true hourly wages a person takes home. In his explanation, the author pointed out that the net hourly wage had to factor in some often overlooked costs. If a person was paid for 8 hours of work, but had a 2 hour commute each day, it was really a 10 hour work day. That reduced the hourly wage by 20%. For example if your hourly rate is $25/hr and you are paid for 8 hours you would receive $200 minus taxes. But you spent 10 hours including the commute, so the hourly rate dropped to $200/10 or $20/hr minus taxes.

Is there more?

But we’re not done. How about the money spent on gasoline and car maintenance for that 2 hour commute? And do you eat takeout or restaurant food rather than prepare food at home? That costs extra. Do you have to maintain a larger and more costly wardrobe for the job in order to be appropriate? More expense. Nan and I have found that we only need one car because we both work at home.

I believe this is why many people are opting for online or hybrid jobs. It may also be the reason why many employers are accepting the change if the job fits the WFH model. The employee actually may be happier working at home and keeping more of their wages, even if they miss the camaraderie of the workplace. And the employer’s office space requirement may be reduced, saving them associated costs.

 Is it all gain?

Of course there may be some trade-offs. Your utility bills may be higher if you work from home, and you are using your own toilet paper. There may be distractions that are very hard to ignore. It may be difficult to make the shift from home life to work schedule. There may be temptations to be too flexible or not as diligent with no one monitoring the work as closely. Or for the workaholics, keeping a reasonable work/life balance might be a challenge since the home and office are the same. And then there are the extroverts who start to become depressed with too much alone time. They need people time -- face to face. 

Although some may be fortunate enough to find a suitable workspace at a walking distance from home  (that doesn't require $5 coffees and expensive sandwiches), most probably won't. But think of those extra commute hours that are now all yours. How will you use the extra time? More sleep? More time with family, friends or recreation? Eased conflict getting the kids ready for, or to school? Less stress with a one minute walk to your home office? Maybe even a tax break for having a home office?

Dollars or hours?

As an aside, the author of the above mentioned book also suggested that the readers convert their purchases into hours worked for an item or experience. For example if after having subtracted taxes, gasoline etc. and come up with a true net-per- hour wage of say $16/hr (from our original $20/hr calculation above) – a sweater costing $160 including sales tax would take 10 hours of work to purchase it. He said to consider whether it would be worth 10 hours of your life to own that sweater. Maybe it would be, maybe not. It is an interesting perspective. I wonder how many hours of work it takes to buy a new car including taxes and interest? No, I don’t think I want to go there – too depressing.

Is A Counselor An Umpire?

 

Umpire: A person to whose sole decision a controversy or question between parties is referred; one agreed upon as a judge, arbiter, or referee in case of conflict of opinions.

Whenever law enforcement is called into a situation, eyewitnesses are usually considered the least reliable sources of information. Why? Because the accuracy of the eyewitness is a perception based on the perspective from which they viewed the incident. The official investigators who are called in try first to evaluate the evidence that they can concretely identify.

The counselor is put in the same position when faced with a couple in conflict. Often called in to help a couple settle a dispute, the counselor must rely on opinions and perspectives from two different sources, neither of which will be unbiased and entirely accurate. So what can a counselor do?

I have found that in most cases, the counselor can attempt to bring some calmness to the situation by hearing each person out and trying to act as mediator and direct a forward movement in the relationship.

Mediator: A person midway between two parties who establishes an agreement or relationship between the parties; someone standing between opposing persons as spokesman or reconciler.

As I understand it, we, as Christians are tasked with being agents of reconciliation (2 Cor 5:18). We cannot be judges over situations that we have not observed directly. Yes, there are times during the session that we might call out someone for their behavior in the present moment. We might point out criticism or defensiveness or contempt. But hopefully it is done with care for the relationship and not communicated in a shaming manner.

But we as counselors must do our best to remain as emotionally unbiased as we can in order to mediate fairly despite our own humanness. For us it is the teachings and wisdom of the Bible that guides us in our efforts. But sometimes we fail. We might trigger on our own unhealed places or over-identify with one of the clients.

When counseling couples, humility is often a scarce commodity, and blaming and defending is plentiful. The clients “work the counselor” to get them to side with them, missing the goal of moving forward with some form of win-win. It is understandable, but not productive. So what is productive?

In most, but not all cases, helping each person fully hear and empathize with their partner before moving toward a solution is a starting point. It softens their hearts and positions them to be capable of working on a resolution. Even when anger is appropriate, it is never helpful when unrestrained. And helping them to hold boundaries on intense feelings is the goal of the counselor.

So think of your counselor more as a coach or mediator, not an umpire.

Coach: One who instructs or trains.

The Road Back

 

There will undoubtedly be an enormous amount written about the 2020 pandemic in the years to come. There already has been. There will be studies and statistics about the damage done that will compare these years to other times of civil disruptions. There will be predictions, and some will turn out to be relatively accurate. In our field of mental health I would expect the fallout from this trauma will be lengthy and significant. The trauma in this case is not an event, like a serious car accident, but one of deprivation.

What were we deprived of?

Many things. We could list physical comforts like products and services, but those would probably be lower down on the list. What will stand out, however, will be the effects of fear-based isolation and all the uncertainty that surrounded us. And that isolation bubble traveled with us, too – to shopping, workplaces, and gatherings of any sort. Schools were shut down and went online as were so many other institutions. We were deprived of familiar human interactions and normalcy. As one person told me just this week, “Left by myself, ‘beer-thirty’ got earlier and earlier.”

To add to the misery, we have been going through a season of social and political unrest. We have treated people who don’t hold the same opinions and health protocols as we do as enemies. We have become afraid of each other. Are you going to give me a potentially fatal disease? And in many instances ideology has become more important than civility and spirituality. Our fragmentation has become a huge problem. And the tragedy here is that the only real source of emotional comfort is other people.

The first will be last

It is expected that the last to fully recover will be first responders, healthcare workers, clergy, counselors, caregivers and a myriad of other leaders. They are all in a group of people who have had to make decisions and navigate through the uncertainty without a map – all while managing their own anxieties. Their recovery will begin when everyone else is taken care of, possibly two years delayed. There has been enormous stress on these leaders to keep people from giving in to fear and detaching from community. I have seen up close the damage done to leaders by scared and angry people. Even though these leaders understand intellectually, emotionally they have felt betrayed, misunderstood, and judged harshly.

What you can do?

It is time to “re-friend” people. We cannot thrive emotionally if we don’t move in this direction. Start with a fearless moral inventory. Where have you forgotten who you are? Where have you acted out of character? Who do you need to apologize to? Do you need to confess, repent or make amends? These are all intentionally restorative and relational moves. Agreement cannot be the basis for your relationships. In marriages we don’t agree all of the time, yet we maintain relationship. You shouldn’t expect it from less intimate connections. We must find our way back to mutual support and unity. It is up to those of us in faith communities to model what we believe. We must lead on the road back.

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Ephesians 4:2-3