Both in politics and marriage, mistakes we make are frequently intense. The damage we cause with a bad vote or an adulterous affair may not be able to be reversed and the recovery is usually very difficult. The difference in marriage is that we bear the responsibility of our choices alone, even if the consequences of our actions are widespread.
In politics we have an opportunity to vote our values each time we cast a new ballot. In marriage we have an opportunity to refuse an affair each time one is offered. In both situations compromising our values is our enemy. Of course, knowing our values deeply and being committed to them is the first step.
The second step is protecting ourselves from deceit and temptation by learning to run away fast. There is no shame in running away at the right time. Shame and guilt come with a failure to do so.
What do you value? What makes you feel whole, integrous? Where are you most vulnerable?
One of the great deceptions we have heard is the idea of “soul mate” as an excuse to leave a marriage.
“I finally found my soul mate. I married the wrong person.”
“I heard from God that it is OK to divorce my wife and marry the person He had chosen for me all along.”
God never tells us to go against his teachings in the Bible.
It wasn’t God that you were hearing from. It is another voice; perhaps your own, or?
The idea of a soul mate “out there” is a myth. We become soul mates as we become one in marriage through years of commitment and hard work. We further strengthen that bond as we both submit ourselves to Christ and His love for us.
We do strongly believe in choosing our mate well. It makes things much easier if we do. But we must remember that breaking marital vows is serious business. In a Christian marriage, we make a covenant before God to remain faithful, even when it is extremely difficult.
Even if you believe you chose poorly, seek God in the struggle, seek wise counsel, and remain true to yourself and your beliefs. Sometimes the hardest moments come right before a breakthrough.