Saturday, November 27, 2010

Being A Safe Person

In one of my earlier posts I ended by saying we must become a safe and trustworthy person. In reflection I realized that it might not be clear to everyone how that concept plays out in our lives.

A few days ago I was having an emotional conversation with someone (imagine) and I said something that I wish I hadn’t. It probably went unnoticed, but I was instantly aware that given the opportunity to turn back the clock, I would have kept it to myself. 

That is one instance of not being a safe person – not fully controlling our tongue.

To expand on that, not controlling our words is first cousin to not controlling our emotions, our reactions, and our angry outbursts. If we are given to that kind of behavior, people will naturally distance from us. Drama is interesting on TV, not so much in our day-to-day lives.

Keeping confidences, even when difficult is another sign of a trustworthy person. Have you ever experienced toxic prayer, when someone reveals a confidence in a group prayer “to lay it before the Lord”? Not safe.

  • Do you honor people’s time by being on time? If you don’t, you become less trustworthy.
  • Do you over commit, but under deliver and then make excuses about how busy you are?
  • Do you say things you really don’t mean? (As in “Let’s do lunch” or “I’ll pay you back”)
  • Do you treat people the same when you are in a group as you do when you are alone? 
  • Do you say the same things about a person while in their presence as you do when they are absent? 

Really, what we are talking about here is the attitude of your heart.

Luke 6:45 says: “A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.”

Husbands and wives take note: these things are especially important for you and your relationship. And people are watching how you treat each other to determine your level of safety. I was told recently by someone that before they were willing to approach me, they intently watched how I treated Nan and how she treated/responded to me. I had no idea it was happening.

So rate yourself and the people around you that you associate with. Are you safe? Are the people you keep company with trustworthy? If you need to make adjustments, be courageous and reap the benefits.


  1. I need a 'like' button! Thanks for taking the time to write and share wisdom. I feel like we are getting free counseling sessions. My marriage, friends, family and wallet thank you. Seriously, you guys are SO great and we (and CA) are so blessed to have you.

  2. A wonderful addition to your first "safe" post. Lord, please help me to be a safe person always.