Sunday, November 10, 2013

What Men Want

The older I get, the more I seem to crave peacefulness. I love quiet most of the time. No TV, no telephones ringing and no neighbors screaming at each other. I know that not everyone is like me. Some people prefer excitement. Perhaps it is just my temperament, but I suspect that I am not alone in this.

Drama. Not for me, please.

Actually, I think it’s the same for a good number of us married guys in particular. We are pretty simple creatures most of the time. It doesn’t take a lot to keep us happy. So what is on our list of things that make life worth living?

Meaningful work
A few good friends
Hopefully, a robust spiritual life

But for most of us what tops the list – peace at home.

I have checked this out with a lot of my guy friends. Peace at home is not the first thing that they mention, but eventually they come around to it. They don’t always describe it that way. They talk about being accepted or respected or that home is their castle. But it all seems to point in the same direction. They feel emotionally safe when their home is not chaotic, angry, or stressful.

I remember listening to a talk radio psychologist a number of years back. Dr. Toni Grant was speaking with a young lady who had been through a series of bad relationships and was asking Dr. Grant what she was doing wrong. As the conversation progressed, it was revealed that the young woman always pursued exciting guys – guys that were a bit edgy. For her it was constantly a wild, but short relational ride. I will always remember Dr. Grant’s reply. She said:

“Well, you know dear, all good men are a little bit boring.” 

I think what she was saying was that stability is somewhat boring – in other words, peaceful. But stable guys are the ones that tend to settle down, get married and raise families.

Notice I did not say dead boring. No woman wants that – she wants a little life in her man.

It’s the same with women, too. The girl dancing on a table at a party is not likely to become wife and mother of the year. She may attract attention, but not necessarily a good husband. The guys that go after that kind of woman probably end up in the same kind of relational chaos as Dr. Grant’s caller.   

If you are married, what kind of environment are you creating at home?

If not, what type of relational partner are you pursuing?

1 comment: