Are People Walking On Eggshells Around You?

One sure way of killing relational intimacy is making people around you ‘walk on eggshells’. You might be a wife, husband, employer, friend, employee or son or daughter. It doesn’t matter what the relationship is – if you are basically touchy, you will be treated differently.

Easily Hurt, Offended or Angered

Are you one of those people who seem to get wounded by everything? Gentle and friendly teasing is misinterpreted? You feel like a victim and powerless? Crying comes easily and you pull back quickly in defensiveness. You have been called overly sensitive most of your life, but you hate to admit it’s true.

Or maybe you take everything personally and everyone’s motives towards you are suspicious. So many things annoy you and you are constantly judging others’ behaviors and habits. You have a hard time restraining yourself from pointing them out. You have been accused of being ‘parental’, but you feel justified because they are ‘offensive’ or ‘wrong’.

Then there are those who have a short fuse. You are both easily hurt and offended, but respond angrily. You know you are one of these people because those around you seem to be constantly apologizing to you to try to appease you. And you find yourself apologizing to others because you have overreacted and wounded them. 

All of these conditions will cause people to feel unsafe around you. They may be very cautious about sharing anything that they believe may set you off in some way. If you blame them for not trusting you and sharing more deeply, they will only further distance from you. That will make you feel more lonely and isolated. You may not have reached the level of emotional abuse with your actions, but you may be controlling or manipulative.

Wounds From The Past

There may be some understandable reasons why you react this way. Past hurts or trauma from abuse or neglect may be affecting you. There might be unresolved grief from losses not yet accepted. Whether you judge it fair or not, you are solely responsible for the way you behave. You cannot place expectations on others to compensate for your losses. You can only work to grieve the losses and own your own pain. Sharing these experiences with trusted people will help to relieve some of the tenderness.

Walking on eggshells is very difficult, and is sad for everyone. Healing requires humility, forgiveness, self-control and courage. It begins by surrendering your pain at the foot of the cross of Jesus.

"Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.” 
Romans 12:18 (NLT)