If you hang around a church or business for any length of time you are going to hear about leadership issues. Usually this topic concerns the kind of organizational leadership that occurs with the top layer of any entity that has to interact with people.
The home is also a people unit that must have structure and leadership as well.
It doesn't matter if you are a man, woman, single parent, or the principle person in a household; leadership skills are required to maintain an effective and peaceful environment. The Bible has things to say about what constitutes a good leader. They are not just spiritual in nature, but also very practical – when applied, they work.
- Sober-minded – this means exercising self-control over the decisions that must be made in order maintain a functional household. It means managing money well, managing time well, and managing people with wisdom.
- Physically sober – this means having self-control over alcohol, food, and other substances.
- Calm – You might not always be able to remain completely calm in the face of stressful situations, but you can always be the least anxious person in the room. When you are able to do this, people will look up to you for guidance and will likely trust your decisions. Anger will cause family members to distance from you and see you as emotionally unreliable.
- Responsible – 1 Tim 5:8 - But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. It is clear that leaders are to do whatever is necessary to take care of their families. It can be particularly hard when the only jobs available feel beneath our abilities. Being responsible also means doing the other hard stuff as well; keeping our promises, whether that means being on time, showing up for events, or even holding boundaries and following through with discipline.
- Sacrificial – a good leader knows that they are to be a servant. Whatever they would impose on their family they must be willing to do themselves, and do it first. A good leader is last in line, making sure all the others have been cared for first. If you can do this you will have loyal followers.
- Generous – in more than just physical goods. They are also looking for opportunities to show love and speak words of praise and affirmation. They search for the positive in people and limit the criticisms.
I’m sure you can come up with many more attributes of a good leader. How would you like to be regarded in your family? Do you want to be feared or distrusted? Or do you want to be respected, loved and obeyed? It is your choice.